"It seemed to me I stood by the iron gate leading to the drive, and for a while I could not enter for the way was barred to me. Then, like all dreamers, I was possessed of a sudden with supernatural powers and passed like a spirit through the barrier before me." --
My name is Stephanie. Pleasure to meet you!
I just bought a nice journal to write in everyday and it sounds very childish but it’s so cathartic to write out everything you can’t say out loud or even post on a blog like this. I always have so much to say that never reaches the surface.
"when the boys pull your hair and push you to the ground
I promise not to tell you that it’s because they like you.
when the teachers call home to tell me that
you pushed them to the ground in return
I’ll take you out of school early and buy
you your favorite ice cream.
when you get older and the boys
try to touch you when you don’t want to be touched
I’ll look at you like the sun when you come home
with anger in your fists.
they all tell you not to fight fire with fire
but that is only because they are afraid of your flames.
when the boys yell after you like hyenas
you yell back, baby.
I will not teach you to be afraid of your anger
so that you look for it in others.
I will not make you be the better person
because you already are.
you wanna fight ‘em? fight ‘em.
don’t you dare apologize for the fierce love
you have for yourself
and the lengths you go to preserve it.
when the boys try to tell you to soften up
I hope you make them bleed with your edges.
I hope you remember that you are not theirs
that their disappointment in you is not yours.
when the boys come to your door with pretty words and
I hope you show them the anger in yours.
I hope you show them just how strong your mommy
thinks you are.
I hope you show them the animal they can’t always
see in their own reflection.
when the boys come with the intention of hurting you
my advice will always stay the same, my darling:
give ‘em hell."
"Always remember what has brought you the most happiness and unhappiness. If we ever forget the types of things we love and the types of things we don’t enjoy, we waste time having to figure it out all over again.
Listen to your instincts. Trust yourself. If you hate doing something, don’t make the mistake of doing it everyday for the rest of your life.
It sounds so simple, but one day you’re going to wonder why you settled for sadness for so long when you could have set the world on fire. You’ve got to stay aware. Stay active. Live with intention. You can’t be passive when it comes to how you’re going to live your life, and what ways are acceptable to spend your days, because everybody forgets they’re numbered."